Sunday, 17 July 2011

Grief, what is it?

Very few people ever actually want to talk about it; no body knows what to say or how to handle it. If you do break into a tear, they never ask again…

It’s a funny thing, no body gives you a book and says this is how it will happen, no body wonders what’s on your mind day to day.  How the tiny things effect you, like having welsh rabbit for lunch or finding out a bit of gossip that you would love to tell her but then remember she’s not there to tell.

Grief is there set stages you go through? Are there things you are or are not meant to think?

‘’Death is just death nobody understands it’’ My sisters keeper… film

Death… I’m not scared of death and never really have been, a lot of people fear it but I think that’s maybe because they know so little about it. Sometimes peoples bodies cant cope with being here any longer. They’ve fought all they can and they have no more strength to go on. As an on looker it’s the hardest thing to watch but deep down you know it’s the right thing.

At the end I felt a huge wave of relief, as my mum was in a lot of pain. I wonder if I started to greave from the time I found out? Did it start when we had to take over the caring, when our roles swapped? I was no longer the little girl, and no longer would we go for lunch, take sneaky shopping trips, or sew up a new dress from scratch just because we could and we had a mountain of fabric we shared a passion for.

Is it the worry of that at any moment the whole world will come crashing down….and then when it does happen what? For 7months that’s all I thought about, when would be the moment it all came crashing …

Mum knew she was dying but nobody new the date, no one could predict the future…

At the time I remembered every minute of every day the last week time seams to stand still, minutes felt like hours. Times when you’d be waiting for an ambulance to arrive and I felt like forever. When you went to visit in hospital but all you could do was hold the smile long enough to get to the car.
But after Mum passed that time between then and the funeral, I remember very few bits. I remember telling some of my closest friends, I remember being sat in a Chinese restaurant the evening that mum passed away, I remember the funeral and thinking what did people think of our family…

The whole time you feel like you are being judged, are you handling the right way? Am I? I don’t know but I guess?
Some days are bad days, you don’t want to see people, you don’t want to wear that smile and forget what happened. Some days you want to be aloud to sit and watch sad films and walk on the beach and allow your self to sink back into the past and remember all the good times…and allow a few tears. Is so bad to have bad days?

As time goes on you never forget, you reach mile stones many of which the people around you don’t remember …don’t need to remember. But for us they are major dates that will always be remembered.

Grief creates its own mile stones… being able to listen to a cd with out crying, being able to laugh about the good times… being proud to say you got though it and that is made you a better stronger person, realizing what life is really about.

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Carnival time!

My friend and I drove up to Bristol this morning to spend the weekend cheering up our school pal, who has been having a bad few weeks. 

We had a packed day after a quick catch up and loo stop we headed down white ladies road and found a lovely little French place where we couldn’t decide what we wanted to eat so we picked three yummy dishes and shared! That’s the best thing about going for lunch with girls you share your food. I have a lot of good guy mates but I know that is never something we could do... yes we share food but in a different way... we all order our meals and what ever I or my other girl mates don’t eat the guys then swiftly then finish it off!

After our yummy lunch we took the bus down to broad meads and walked across to St. Pauls. It was the St. Pauls carnival, which is all about celebrating the multi cultural neighbours across St. Pauls.
Wow it was amazing! The atmosphere hit us as we got closer to a small park covered in beer tents and stands selling candy floss and jerk chicken! I was kind of regretting having our yummy lunch, as I had no room left for any jerk chicken, which is something I would love to try! Maybe next time...

The people of St. Pauls definitely did them selves proud in putting on a colourful prosecution of dancers and musicians and the costumes were amazing the bright colours shone as they danced to the afro Caribbean music with huge smiles across there faces! Take a peek at some of the pictures....

After seeing some of the main dancers we walked along the side of it back in to the heart of St. Pauls where we were greeted by stalls set up outside peoples houses, every thing from CD's to sugar cane to fizzy pop and sunglasses off the back of a lorry haha.

Every corner we turned we were greeted by smells and music and hundreds of people making the most of the carnival atmosphere.... I think this picture sums this up....

After a long day at the carnival we got the bus back and brought lots of yummy nibble food ready to fill us up for a night out. So let the girly night commence...

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Bosherston lily ponds

Its been such a lovely few days weather wise so after a busy day at the studio we thought that we should make the most of it. Especially as here in the UK you never know how long it its going to last...

So we went over to Bosherston lily ponds, which are a good twenty-minute, drive from us but definitely worth it. The lilies were out in full bloom but I think that we left it to late in the day as they were starting to close up for the evening. Which was a shame but they were still beautiful.

I went over with my Dad and it was a great to have a natter and catch up about all sorts, Although we are very close we don’t often have time when its just the two of us (plus Teal); when one of us isn’t working, writing up reports, sorting jobs or just generally listening with one ear ... as we walked around the ponds we got talking about Mum who passed away just over a year ago. Its lovely sharing memories and we got on to speaking about her 'bucket list'... Some people may find a bucket list odd but it was lovely to help her do some of the things, some were silly things like seeing the end of the series of Gavin and Stacey on BBC 1 others were major family achievements like seeing my brother get married.

Which was an amazing day and it definitely made Mum and Dad very proud, my brother and his wife make a fab couple and they topped it all off with putting a deposit down on their house just days before Mum passed away. I think she was secretly waiting for this, as she knows they will be very happy there.

The lily ponds are normally wonderfully peaceful haha... but to night we picked the wrong night for that... as there were a large school group doing an orienteering task, which was funny as you could hear the kids shouting ''I cant see point 4'', ''come on we have to beat the others''...the whole way around the 2mile plus route we took.

But Teal loved her walk and it was definitely what we needed, some times you just need some fresh air and change of scenery... look how cute this toad sign is...

Thursday, 23 June 2011

incy meets the Prince of Wales

Wow! Today was an exciting day for incy!... We met the PRINCE OF WALES.

Over 18months ago we had help from the Prince's trust to set up. We joined their Business Enterprise programe and gained a small set up loan. Which we used to produce our initial marketing materials and website... its amazing how many people think wow you got a loan. Straight away think you have loads of money in the bank. But until they open their own business they dont realise how much money is needed to set up and where it all needs to go!

So as an example of one of the 7 Princes Trust Businesses now up and running we were picked to show off our products at the Ffos Las racecourse, in Carmarthenshire, Wales. Ffos Las is the newest race course in the UK, and the day is hoped to boost the Welsh profile in racing. The day at the races which had been laid on in Prince Charles honour will have a slice of proceeds from ticket sales being donated to his chosen charities.

I think this royal seal of approval will flag up Ffos Las to racegoers beyond Wales,” Commented horse trainer David Evans.

It was a great day with all the fun of the races and the buzz of the Prince being at the course. Along with meeting us Business Enterpreners and many other of the Princes charities. He then went on to watched the races and im sure he put on a sneeky bet before heading off on his helicopter...

So when I did get to meet the Prince he asked why she set up incy and the times that I had during the set up and how the Princes Trust has helped us... After a little chin wag about incy, I presented the Prince with a 'British Icon Telephone box' cushion. He was very impressed asking how it was sewn and say that it would be great for his back!

We also had Clarance House asking who gave the ''stunning cuhion''. All in all it was a good day and it was great to speak with lots of press and just to generally spread the incy word... just  a shame it was drizzly day, but we are used to that in Wales.

Sunday, 5 June 2011

A hard week

This time last year myself and my close family were nursing my mum through her final days...

In late October 2009 my mum suffered with a stroke and within 10 days we found out that she had two type 4 malignant brain tumours both of which were uncurable. After a debulking operation in November we knew that we were on borrowed time as mum had terminal brain cancer.

So I quickly realised that I had to gain all the skills that I could from my mum, many of the things that most mothers and daughters would share on a day to day basis.My mum taught me to sew from a young age, and at the age of four I got my first singer sewing machine for christmas. From then on sewing was a hobbie that we both shared and had a huge passion for. Mum was a very talented quilter having had commissons and a one man show.

From November onwards I became a full time carer along with my dad and brother. Together we took over everthing as well as looking after all of mum's needs dealing with Radio and Chemo therapy.

But I never make things easy for myself and through out the exhaustion, heart ache and fustration, I decided to push the incy dream and make it a reality along with looking after my own health.

My mum was the first person to order off the website a 'ladybird' notebook which she actually used as an amazing diary in her final months.I was desperate for my mum to see incy succeeding and make her proud of me, after 7months hard work and very emotional times my mum passed away at home on the 7th June. As a year comes round all  the emotions and heart ache come back...

Often I think ooh ill tell mum that or i see something that I know she would love to see and it's then that I remember that she isn't here to share those memories with...
My family have been amazing and we have some how managed to get through this year, and wow it has flown! I don't believe in the after life or ghoasts and gools but I often wonder if she knows what Im doing now? or how I feel...

This time last year was the hardest thing I will ever go through...waking every day to discover what the next day would hold with my mum and if we would see another day! My mum will always be the inspiration behind incyThis may have been the hardest thing I have ever done but it the proudest thing ive ever done and those months hold alot of memories that will stay with me for ever...

On tuesday a year may have pasted but it dosn't mean the memories have faded or been lost . I may find comfort looking at old pictures and wearing my mums rings... 

My mum was an amazing mum and I'm proud to say that she was mine and will always be mine, even if she is not here to hold me close and say that xxx

Saturday, 4 June 2011

The long course in Tenby

Yesterday after a full day of sewing and sorting stock I thought a good two mile walk along south beach in Tenby would clear my head...hehe 
Little did I know that the long course were doing there swim! So as i got down to the beach with Teal, we were meet by over a hundred men and women in wetsuits doing the challenging 1.9k or 3.8k swim in the cold welsh sea!

Then today while dropping of more stock with one of our boutiques that we stock in Tenby. I was meet with the same crazy but brave people finishing the Bike ride of either 56 or 112miles! The event was being broadcast live over Radio Pembrokeshire and for those of you that listen you will know that they do a great job of keeping every one up to date on whats going on in the county and filling our radios with cheesy music! hehe everyone loves a bit of cheese now and again.

Wow is all I can say these guys deserved a putty pedal as my mums gran used to say! Im sure they got a medal and a lot of support. 

Take a peek at the fab video on there site it shows the crazy people in action...

Monday, 30 May 2011

Duvet day launch

Here at incy sometimes you need a duvet day so... we though we should really start making duvet sets! So here is our first of many to come duvet sets...

Single bed size...

Pillow case and duvet set 100% cotton. Appliqued with 'Garden Fairy' theme. RRP £40.00
Coming soon to the website!

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Here at incy we are lucky to be based in such a beautiful part of the uk, sunny Pembrokeshire. Its award winning beaches, national park, celtic crosses, and many norman castles... 

I know, I know its beautiful but I am craving the city life. The day to day hustle and bustle, the night life and most of all the amount of people my age... yeah of course there are loads of people my own age here. Pembrokeshire is a tiny place and everyone know everyones business and many people are stuck in their own ways. 

I guess the last year has made me realise life is to short and you have to live it to the full...  live, love, laugh

Friday, 27 May 2011

Step back in time

Tonight we took some time out and visited the West Wales School of the Arts, degree show. It was great to go back and catch up with the staff and old students, and see what talent is coming through...


Bit of culture on a Friday night...posh here at incy hehe. Here are a few of the degree students final work...

West Wales School of the arts is where I did my Textiles degree. I graduated in 2008 with a 1st class honours degree.  Three years of exploring,developing styles and making great friends. Many of now who I hardly get to see but you know they are the sort of friends you don't see for months, but when you do see them its like no time has pasted!

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Back to the studio

While we were away at the NEC The Baby Show look who was looking after our emails and orders...

Our little puppy Teal, she is now 5 months old! But Teal is a little bit slow at sorting emails as she keeps falling asleep hehe. So its a good job we came back to help her out! Look how little she was when she first came to live at the incy studio...

She is a great part of the incy team, and always keeps us on our toes but most of all she is good company.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

The Baby Show NEC Birmingham

       Sorry about the delay with the blog...its been a busy couple of weeks getting orders out, talking about updating the website and planning lots of exciting things !

We have just exhibited at the 'Baby Show' at the NEC in Birmingham and wow it was fab. It was a great show loads of excited parents to be and very cute babies! 

It was great to exhibit along side all the big brands in the industry. With everyone there from Mothercare,     Plum, Tommee Tippee, Cosatto, to midwives and advice clinics. We got to chat and get some great advice and links with some fab big brands in the industry but for now that is all under raps...but watch this space! 

It was our best show yet with lots of orders placed over 2000 flyers given out and 8 wholesale contacts made so incy maybe coming to a shop near you soon! It is always great to chat to customers and get great feedback, along with launching new products.

Take a peek at our stand...

It was one of those shows which made you want a baby...but it was funny as one of my good friends has found out she is pregnant just days before we did the show, but shhhhhhhh! As it is a secret and the baby is only the size of a chocolate sprinkle... 

I wonder how may of these people waiting for the show to open had chocolate sprinkles, grapes, blueberries, peaches or little kicking babies with names in their tummies...

On the last day of the show while all the Mummies and Daddies arrived, some of the events team and exhibitors had a little dance before the show opened...hehe...bad dad dancing?

We just wanted to say a big thanks to the team at Clarion Events for making the show go so smoothly and of course for the sweets...but I have to say love hearts can make you feel a bit sick if you eat to many hehe

Come see us at the Manchester show 2nd- 4th September... its the first time 'The Baby Show' has been to Manchester so you know its going to be a great show!