A hard week

This time last year myself and my close family were nursing my mum through her final days...

In late October 2009 my mum suffered with a stroke and within 10 days we found out that she had two type 4 malignant brain tumours both of which were uncurable. After a debulking operation in November we knew that we were on borrowed time as mum had terminal brain cancer.

So I quickly realised that I had to gain all the skills that I could from my mum, many of the things that most mothers and daughters would share on a day to day basis.My mum taught me to sew from a young age, and at the age of four I got my first singer sewing machine for christmas. From then on sewing was a hobbie that we both shared and had a huge passion for. Mum was a very talented quilter having had commissons and a one man show.

From November onwards I became a full time carer along with my dad and brother. Together we took over everthing as well as looking after all of mum's needs dealing with Radio and Chemo therapy.

But I never make things easy for myself and through out the exhaustion, heart ache and fustration, I decided to push the incy dream and make it a reality along with looking after my own health.

My mum was the first person to order off the website a 'ladybird' notebook which she actually used as an amazing diary in her final months.I was desperate for my mum to see incy succeeding and make her proud of me, after 7months hard work and very emotional times my mum passed away at home on the 7^th June. As a year comes round all  the emotions and heart ache come back...

Often I think ooh ill tell mum that or i see something that I know she would love to see and it's then that I remember that she isn't here to share those memories with...

My family have been amazing and we have some how managed to get through this year, and wow it has flown! I don't believe in the after life or ghoasts and gools but I often wonder if she knows what Im doing now? or how I feel...

This time last year was the hardest thing I will ever go through...waking every day to discover what the next day would hold with my mum and if we would see another day! My mum will always be the inspiration behind incy. This may have been the hardest thing I have ever done but it the proudest thing ive ever done and those months hold alot of memories that will stay with me for ever...

On tuesday a year may have pasted but it dosn't mean the memories have faded or been lost . I may find comfort looking at old pictures and wearing my mums rings... 

My mum was an amazing mum and I'm proud to say that she was mine and will always be mine, even if she is not here to hold me close and say that xxx